My nerves are shot. Not because of the grandkids...because I am so worried about my daughter.. She has not called even once to talk to the little ones. Today I cried about my grandpa dying. It was so sad. I think about how him and grandma were there for us kids. I wish I could turn my back on my daughter but I can't... It is so strange.
The kids went to preschool today. I went with b's dad there...B screamed and kicked ... she was not happy. I picked the kids up at 5:30 they were so happy to see me. It is such an adjustment for them. I am totally focused on them right now. I know the stress I feel is making my sight not so good right now.. I can barely read anything with out putting binoculars on.. I need to figure out how to settle down.. The kids constantly tell me how much they love me and how glad they are to live here with nana and grandpa... Damn J said that his mom is scary and that he is glad there are no more whippings... I have no idea what these kids have been thru. I hope my daughter gets some help. I haven't been mean to her at all. I just dont' say much. Mental Illness is so scary. Should I look into this further. I really think this chapter is closed. Now she just needs help for herself. At least that is what I am thinking at this stage.....
Oh, my callie babe. I know its so hard wanting to help your own child, and care for them. I know you did not raise her to be this type of person. Honestly, in the experiences we have had in my family with someone on drugs. The best thing for them is tough love, cut them off, make them live with the consequences. I know that is easier for me to say, she is not my daughter. But you know she will not go for counseling with you, she will not admit she was in over her head. You have to let her make her mistakes, pick up her own pieces and hopefully, sooner than later she will discover all that she has given up should have been her priority all along.
ReplyDeleteWe are here for you. I have seen something smilar in my famioy, my cousin lost 2 of her kids because she was on drugs, stole from my grandmother who she was living with. Unfortunately she had another kid, still hasn't gotten the first two back and is back on a bad path.
Remember this, please! - YOU CANNOT HELP SOMEONE, WHO CANNOT HELP THEMSELVES. THEY MUST WANT THE HELP FOR IT TO WORK.
Good morning my friend <3, wish I could be there to hold you and tell you everything will be okay...
ReplyDeleteJust remember that this is all happening for a reason, those kids are strong and will be able to work through what they have been dealing with in the past (I did and they will)... Look in those blue eyes and gain strenth... Get rid of the guilt for Jess, she knows you love her because all you have shown her through out her life is love & support...
Lisa's last paragraph is so true. That is how it was with my mother and it is how it is with any sick human, they have to want help to get help, it is nothing you can force on anyone.
I love you my friend... It is a tough path you are going through, but sun shinning days will come from what you are giving...
Take a deep breath and keep spilling your thoughts on paper or computer it will help your heart heal and your mind clear...
Love you bunches, Shann
Callie, my heart aches for you. I've locked Brian out of my life. Not by choice but for self-preservation. He is toxic to me and with my own issues I can't take his problems on, and he is so unkind to Wally. When he lived at home I had to call the police twice because he threatened me. You have to believe that Jess has made her own choices and landing on her ass may be the best thing that will ever happen to her. She may never make the right choices, and that is difficult to even think about. But like Dr. Phil says the only thing that matters is the kids. The adults can ruin their own lives but they can't be allowed to ruin the lives of their children!
ReplyDeleteYou are good to the bone and those sweet children will be sane and safe with your love and care. Shann and Lisa have put things so much better than I have, but know this - we are here for you.